Healing Isn’t Linear

I wanted to share this reflection I wrote about 9 months ago - right around the same time I started painting.

Healing isn’t linear - it happens in seasons, it zigs and zags, its steps forwards and backwards - but that is all part of the process. I am often too hard on myself when it comes to my healing and my personal growth - feeling as though a slip up, a reaction rooted in anger, or a night full of tears is a set back in my progress. BUT THAT IS NOT TRUE. Those things do not nullify the progress I have made - they are all part of the messy work that healing is.

Last night, out of nowhere, my sadness and my hurt crashed into me like a tidal wave. My fears, doubts, and insecurities fought to take hold of me and pull me under. I struggled to keep my head above water. After hours of this struggle with a pillow full of tears, I felt like I was starting to sink. Instead of fighting I allowed the thoughts and feelings to wash over me. I accepted each wave as it came, acknowledged the validity of the feeling, honored it, and let it go. And as I did this, instead of sinking, I started to float. And in this moment, I learned something new about myself... I AM RESILIENT.

We are all healing and we are all resilient. Don’t give up, we got this!